In a late afternoon cruise of Facebook this headline grabbed my attention--"Swear Like a Mother". Although in my head it sounded a lot more like "Mutha" because as most of us know, you cannot fully pronounce the "er" if you're going down this road. Turns out it’s a clever Mother’s Day ad for insert-brand-name mac & cheese.

The mini film features Melissa Mohr, author of Holy Sh*t: A Brief History of Swearing. It's funny, authentic. The message? Don't be so hard on yourself. Hell yeah! Aligns with my own life philosophy. We’re doing the best we can. Which is plenty, not perfect. #therealshit

I think I inherited an obscenity gene. Not obesity, well maybe that too, but obscenity. A bit of a truck driver's tendency, if you will. My grandma would tell me that as a tot in the tub, the soap would slip from my hands and I would exclaim, "son of a bitch!" every time. Not only did I use profanity, but I employed it appropriately. She blamed my parents. Mind you, during a verbal IQ test in 1st grade this is the same child who was afraid to give “pig” as the answer, when the principal asked, “Where does bacon come from?” Turns out, it’s only a bad word if you’re referring to cops, not the source of pork products.

My best friend (currently also a Mother Who Swears) was aghast at the verbal battles I'd have with my younger sister when I was in high school. Her Texan lady charms were not only challenged, but confused--as we used words she'd never heard. Sweet baby Jesus, she asked her mom what they meant.

My mouth has mellowed over time, but I still make an effort to reign it in. And some days are better than others. I'm not trying to be disrespectful, really, it just feels right. You know when too much is too much--trust me, there IS a line. I firmly believe in cursing in moderation. Just like tequila in moderation. Or breakfast burritos in moderation. They all have a time and place. And let’s be honest, some places give you rewards for frequent visits.

I remember reading something that basically said people who swear sound ignorant, and lower class. That they lack the proper vocabulary to express themselves appropriately. I call bullshit. In fact, guess what studies have found?

“A complex curse vocabulary correlates with higher verbal fluency and thereby links to greater intelligence (not less).”

— The Washington Post, on a study by psychologists Kristin Jay of Marist College and Timothy Jay of the Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts

“This finding can serve as a nice empirical middle-finger from vulgarians everywhere, directed at those who had, until now, been unfairly judging them for their linguistic abilities. Swearing, it seems, can be creative, smart, and even downright lyrical.”

— Scientific American, Is Swearing a Sign of a Limited Vocabulary? / April 2016

How much do you love Scientific American right now? SHOUT. OUT.

And, what else have we learned?

Those who swear, tend be more HONEST and have more INTEGRITY.

“We found a consistent positive relationship between profanity and honesty; profanity was associated with less lying and deception at the individual level and with higher integrity at the society level.”

— Frankly, We Do Give a Damn Gilad Feldman, Huiwen Lian, Michal Kosinski, David Stillwell Social Psychological and Personality Science First published date: January-15-2017

Fuck yeah, they did.

Finally, in a study by insert-brand-name mac & cheese, they learned that:

74% of mothers swear.

Obviously the other 26% have a lower verbal fluency. Either that or they’re lying.

5/100