Making scratch dinners in a rush can be stressful. I’ve got a few standards up my sleeve that seem to please the man-boys in my life. By popular demand (you know who you are), here are my answers to: “What are your go-to dinners?”
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AS MUCH AS IT PAINS ME to expose my personal/physical goals, I know that making such public statements enhances their probability of success. I came close to calling this "A Quarterly Commitment to Mark Miles + Drop Pounds" but just couldn't do it. Yuck. Yawn. Bleh.
Since training for a marathon (which I did to the letter, solo) I've kind of lost my discipline. Mainly because I can "cheat". While the 26.2 had me scared serious, now I could run a 15k without much training. I'm getting lazy. But in 2013 I'm stepping it up (without the 26.2 sacrifices--friends, family, toenails). This year I'm committed to a program of four half marathons with a healthy sampling of 5, 10 and 15ks. I signed up for the La Jolla Half Marathon, April 28, #2 in the Triple Crown Series (Carlsbad Half Marathon, La Jolla Half Marathon, America's Finest City(AFC)). I've already completed Carlsbad, in August it's AFC, and in November it's Silver Strand.
I'm inspired by other athletes, and I like to be a role model for my kids. I'm at my best when I get up early to run, and I feel like a total badass when I swing a kettlebell and do box rock jumps in my backyard. I use Runkeeper to track my workouts, and honestly I love seeing the numbers add up. On the flip side, I'm using LoseIt! to track food. Yes, I like data. Numbers. Stats. And while I'm strong and athletic-ish, I can only imagine the impact when I focus on BOTH goals at the same time. Yes! Let's DO this!
One of the things that makes us all human is the need for approval, reassurance, respect, perhaps even a little adoration. The craving for this can ebb and flow, dependent upon our own ego-boosting magic and our susceptibility to the critics (both real and imaginary).
HEY, YOU LOOK GREAT TODAY Today I ate lunch at my desk, plowed through some documents and took off for a run mid-work day to ease off leftover leg cramps from Sunday's half marathon. I only half baked this idea, since I was too lazy to get up at 6 and do it before work, which means I didn't really pack a full change of clothes (read: underwear) and there is NO way to shower. And I still had an important meeting to attend. Gross. I know. Anywhoooo...after a quick change and a perfume spritz I made a pit stop at the coffee cart to fuel up pre-summit. And guess how I was greeted? "Hey pretty lady! What would you like?" Okay, I do see these guys a few days a week. Do they always greet me like this? No. Actually, never. But today it came at the right time. Right place. I felt GOOD. It made me happy. It gave me a little boost. And who couldn't use a boost?
On the flip side, I've seen some slouching shoulders and heavy heads lately...kids and grown ups alike. It can be a few missed goals on the soccer field, a condescending colleague, a warped work culture. I've seen some (sick) people thrive on tapping this vulnerability in others. Hell, we sometimes perpetuate it ourselves. Seeing this happen so close to home really touches a nerve, and I'm committed to being more conscious of it. Try these on...
CONFIDENCE BOOSTERS (ie. Be the change you want to see in the world.)
• Each day give out one to two (genuine) compliments. Make one be to a complete stranger (those really carry a heavy weight!).
• At the dinner table, instead of highs and lows take turns saying one thing you really admire about the person next to you.
• "Surprise text" a friend or loved one when you think of something special/cool/amazing that REMINDS you of them. Confidence by association!
• Let your kids wear clothes that make them feel good. Even if the combination horrifies you, and you are truly embarrassed by this expression of poor taste, they need to learn for themselves what is accepted or unaccepted by peers, then decide if they want to conform. I said, IF they want to conform.
• Being acknowledged for your appearance may feel FANtastic when you've just celebrated a post-40 birthday. But do young girls (or boys) need this kind of weary praise? Let's give kudos for kindness, or applause for acumen instead.
The other day I was in a building I rarely visit and in the ladies room there was a framed sign that read: "You look particularly great today." And damned if it didn't make me stand a little taller, and think to myself, 'Yes, yes you do.'
>>>>--------> Go Directly to Kitchen. Do Not Pee, Do Not Change Clothes, Do Not Collect $200.
This was tonight's punishment game plan when I got off work a bit late, and was holding my promise to get dinner on the table before all three went off to watch a basketball game at the local high school. I had already sketched in Shrimp Tacos for dinner tonight, so I thought I was still in good shape.
Estimated Departure Time: 6:30 PM
Serves 4
INGREDIENTS
thawed frozen raw shrimp (enough) for 4 1-2 T olive oil 2 garlic cloves 1T cumin 1 teaspoon chile/ancho powder/seasoning a pinch of dried basil 14 oz canned diced tomatoes with juice 1/4 cup heavy cream (optional) 8 small corn tortillas 1/3 cup shredded cheese (optional) 1/2 cup thinly sliced green cabbage 1/2 large carrot, grated avocado
5:59 PM Drop Bags, Enter Kitchen
6:25 Plates hit the table.
6:32 Bellies full, boys out the door.
Additional Topping Ideas: Plain Greek Yogurt, Sour Cream, Sriracha Sauce (aka Hot Cock Sauce at our house), lime wedges, fresh cilantro
Side Dish Suggestions for the Nights You Aren't Rushed But Still Busy: Black Beans (canned), Carrot Slaw (grated carrots w/ lime juice and olive oil), Applesauce, Southwest Rice (from a box)
All week I've been in a funk. Blame it on the full moon, lunar eclipse, post-holiday blues, WHATever. It's a funk, and I don't mean in a good 70's James Brown sort of way. When asked by the hubs what my problem was, I listed the following: I'm working just to get a paycheck, I haven't exercised all week, I'm not doing anything creative, and I'm tired. His reply? "That's called Parenthood."
The whole reason I re-started my blog was to be explore and appreciate life's daily drill, and to remind myself that really, THIS is enough. But is it? I got teary at Thanksgiving when the Mister gave thanks for our two boys. Yeah, humble brag, I think they are awesome, and smart, and athletic and (mostly polite) if not a little quirky. I actually LOVE being a parent. I feel totally devoted to being a parent to these two little charmers, and together we have made this our top priority. But with some sacrifices too. We both work 9-5s (with flexibility) and we carefully juggle all of the school and sport responsibilities like so many other families out there. But are all you parents fulfilled by this? If you work outside the home, do you LOVE your job as much as you LOVE being a parent? If not, then what? How do you MAKE the time for the other parts of your life that need to be nourished? It's hella hard, and I'm taking it one day at a time.
In my former work life I was Mrs. Museum. For nearly 10 years I was vocationally married to The San Diego Museum of Art. Though we've since broken up (perfectly amicably--"it's me, not you!") my heart remains firmly planted in this space. Staying connected with this museum has not been difficult--I'm deeply invested in the relationships I developed while there, and consistently look forward to rekindling those flames. While I've carried lasting friendships, I do miss the daily dose of beauty--walking through galleries and getting 1:1 time with Stella, Rivera, Cotán, Avery, Matisse and more.
To get my museum fix now, I pop in at random, and try to attend exhibition openings whenever possible. I've also maintained my membership in the Gallery. For last night's premiere event for Behold America! I wrangled another Gallery member, my pal Kim, to be my art date. WE HAD A BLAST. This totally unique collaboration among SDMA, the Timken and MCASD was breathtaking. How cool to see John Currin's The Hobo next to Robert Henri's Bernadita, Cindy Sherman and Eastman Johnson, John Baldessari and John Singleton Copley. The juxtaposition of contemporary and old masters continues to thrill me. Over at the Timken, which is a total gem, we died over this same combination of old and new, and gave special Instagram attention to the 60's era architecture and gallery wall coverings.
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| (True Love) |
This gorgeous new ceramic coffee grail dazzled me so much so that I almost, ALMOST missed Starbucks new price increases. Jonathan Adler, master of modern whimsy has designed a perky paisley tumbler just in time for the holly days. As if it weren't enough to be jump started by a grande quad latte each morning, this 16oz. vessel is the perfect antidote for a working girl's maladies.
Oh and about those price jumps...I may need to rethink my daily dosage.
I received this gorgeous bouquet yesterday from my future employers...The New Children's Museum. Happy Mother's Day! Can you smell the lilacs from here? The scent fills our home still, and I'm nostalgic for my Midwestern childhood where backyards ran together like wavy green ribbons, rhubarb was foraged for homemade fruit leather and lilac bushes lined the back fence.
Here's to new beginnings...June 1, you're only 22 days away.
PS. Many of you know my favorite floral peeps, but this particular arrangement raised the bar. Well done Flower Child!
My head is freakin' spinning. Maybe I have a month's worth of blog posts in my brain. What happened to the last 30 days? What have I been doing for crying out loud?
At work we launched a new member program I've been working on for the past nine months...The Gallery. In conjunction with the launch came a blog (I post once a week or so...) and new collateral materials. Whoo Hoo! We have 30 members to date...
I'm getting my feet wet as the mom of two kindergartners...in separate classrooms. The PTA is knockin', the Foundation is callin', and daily emails are delivered from room moms. I volunteered to be the "Art Odyssey" teacher for Max's class, and a helper for Beck's class.
I was invited to join a group called the Axiology Collective. This dynamic dozen is packed with intelligence and sincerity. It's been less than a month since I was introduced to the group, but I am truly grateful for the invitation and look forward to the monthly gatherings. And yes, there is a blog (find me there, too)! The ladies have done a beautiful job of designing and documenting the past year of topics with related resources, and now our collective commentary.
Oh yes! I finished up the logo and business card design for a fabulous new matchmaking business called Love Happens Here. Yea Kim! Fun project and wonderful connections...On this Truly Fine note, I was thrilled to be a featured designer at the VIP Grand Opening for Green in Hillcrest. My longtime floral friend, Carlos Franco gave Truly Fine Design a prime spot in his hot new shop.
Which reminds me...the Mister surprised me with a gorgeous floral arrangement from Green after we celebrated 9 years (of humor, of hip hop, of love, of friendship...) at Cucina Urbana near Balboa Park. We sat at the community table, met great people and had a fantastic night with lively conversation. The Basil Martini is a MUST, the egg and pancetta pizza was outstanding (with a Super-Tuscan red), and really, yes, the roasted strawberry frangipane is SO worth it.
Which brings me finally to the last big hurrah of the past 30 days. My very dear BFF Cindy (better known as Cynthia) accepted a job in Boston with Reebok. Last weekend we threw her a party at the East Village Tavern & Bowl. This Monday we'll have our last Muffy & Buffy adventure before she heads to beantown. Heavy sigh.
Oh No You Didn't!
In the first week of kindergarten, we received invitations for two birthday parties. Luckily both boys were invited to each.
Invite #1. A brother-sister event. The boys asked if perhaps the sister could wait this one out as she is a MAJOR irritation to them. Fine, we don't need to go to this one, they are not particularly close to the new pals. Yes, I am the mom that selects events on their behalf. Am I a snob? No. I'm just really particular about our family time.
Invite #2. An invite to the party of a pal they met last year in PEPP. Wonderful! Charming young girl, in one of the K classes. So when is it? WHAT? But that's a school day. I mean, that is in the middle of the day, okay 2PM, but on a school day! Grrrr.
What bums me out is that I would have been happy to make this party work...on a weekend. Or even a late afternoon! Seriously, is it so unique that both parents might be found working at 2PM on a Thursday? If I don't make it work, the boys miss out. "Oh we can't go, because our Mommy has to work." I simply cannot make an exception for this particular day because I have a major event that night. Sigh.
I'm a relatively new subscriber to Lisa Belkin's Blog at The New York Times. It's called Motherlode, Adventures in Parenting. I dig this blog because Lisa just seems to nail the issues that I'm already thinking about, or want to be thinking about. Tonight I saw her recent post regarding the boy with cancer from Minnesota, the strip search of a 13 year old girl in Arizona, and Jon and Kate Plus 8, which I do not watch but have fair knowledge of (who doesn't these days?). I enjoyed this so I clicked through her links to an earlier post...and landed here: "What's Harder, Marriage or Parenting?".
Hmmmm. Lisa addressed this topic in the context of other "momversations" that were happening online (January 2009). SHOCKINGLY not all moms were experiencing the same challenges. Many moms are overwhelmed by today's parenting pressures. Others are struggling to manage their marriage. I know where I fall on this issue, as I said out loud tonight (with my watermelon margarita) "It can't get any harder than this." OY. Where are you?
Take a deep breath. One Fish Two Fish, Red Fish Blue Fish. Smell the marine layer, listen to Michael Jackson and eat a homemade Chocolate Chip Cookie Ice Cream Sandwich.
So...I thought I had it all down pat when I marked the calendar for the Kindergarten/PEPP choir concert. Thursday, May 21, 8:30 AM. I gave the light blue xeroxed flier to Jarrod, to hang on the fridge in the garage. Just a couple of days later I noticed the following "Uniform: White tops and blue jeans" written on this invitation. Hmmm. White tops. Do the boys have white shirts? Then onto...Packing lunches, making breakfasts, dinner, whatever. In. and then Out.
Cue Thursday morning at home: AHHHHHHH. The boys do not have white shirts. Of any kind or variety. What kind of sane mother puts her 5 year old boys in white tees? That is never worth the laundry headache. The mister offered to go to the store, and I admit, I did call Rite Aid. The lady at the store says yes indeed they carry boys white tees. According to the Mister, no they do not carry BOYS white tees. Grrrr. Cue to the boys getting dressed. No white tee??!!! Well, then I want to wear a "cool" shirt, said Max. Beck had his choice of the party clothes too.
I assured myself, really it won't be a big deal. How many other working parents or just plain busy moms are there? It will probably be about 60/40 for white shirt representation, right?
Not even close.
After swimming through the parental paparazzi, I found myself in the back row--me with my iPhone (forgot my other fabulous devices), and every other amateur film maker using tripods and video cameras to capture the glory. There they all marched in, white shirt after white shirt after white shirt. Front row arrives, the last of the students. Beck, then a few later, Max. Try....112 kids in white shirts. 2 in Hawaiian*. Rock on mom, rock on.
*I might have seen a striped white shirt, and one with some funky designs, but nothing, not even close to the Beck & Max show...
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
-Fran Lebowitz
boys
I'm so utterly in love with ages 4 and 5. Always have been, always will. Max & Beck are completely in their own heads most of the time and it thrills me. Creative, sensitive, bossy, witty, imaginative, adventurous, passionate. SO completely full of life. Unfiltered. On the other hand they can get super distracted and frustrated which ultimately ends in one (or all) of us growling, screaming or swearing.
work
I held out for advancement in my Museum career and worked to earn a promotion to a position that is both rewarding and challenging (especially in this economy). To boot, I am now surrounded by some fabulous women with great energy and humor.
art
I kept up with Truly Fine Design after a late 2007 launch. LOTS of room to grow. I had other ideas so I took up painting as well..
passion
I'm married to a Scorpio. We're still having fun...I think.
politics
Obama. Sarah Palin. Tina Fey. Last, and so not least...Jon Stewart. Heart, heart, heart.
friends
I do have some terrific peeps. They may not all hang together, or even be in the same state, but I love them each truly, madly, deeply.
Is this even interesting? I'd love to know what my mom was going through at 36. She was divorced with a 14 and 9 yr. old I believe.
This year I could not get my game on for regular workouts. Fuck. Why is that so hard? Doing the usual job-wife-mom-juggle...not a great strength of mine, but I do put up a good front. When I think of all the things I should be doing, like oil changes, eye appointments, oops, bill paying, video returning, oops, running, writing xmas cards, oops, having a really lovely family photo taken, oops and oops. This is how I feel:
"A week after my drugs ran out, I left my bed to perform at the college, deciding at the last minute to skip both the doughnut toss and the march of the headless plush toys. Instead, I just heated up a skillet of plastic soldiers, poured a milkshake over my head and called it a night. "
-David Sedaris
Uugh. I had my first ever panic attack today. After a stressful end of day meeting (which I bailed on before it was over) I ran to my car (late to pick up the kids), and started hyperventilating. I could only gasp for little bursts of air and I couldn't determine if I was going to throw up, pass out or burst into tears. No one ever said this was easy.
So I signed up for the Work From Home gig today because Beck was rockin' a runny nose. (P.S. WFH-is that an official acronym now?). Jarrod came home and asked if I'd actually gotten work done, and I really DID. We marveled that 10 years ago that never would have happened...shared documents, servers, emails, teleconference (TC?). Anyway, it was good. I'm glad I could make it work. My office is clean right now, so it's a joy. Well, I won't go that far. I was doing my "real" work, not the fun stuff for Truly Fine.
This does remind me though, of a recent story on NPR about the negative effects of multitasking. Recent scientific studies assert that we are not actually doing several things at once, but that we are just extremely quick to switch our attention from one thing to the next. Hmmmm...Does that mean that I cannot email and talk on the phone at the same time anymore? Oprah told me that was rude anyway...but what if you are emailing the person you are talking to? Trust, me there are times this is absolutely necessary.
This always happens before the boy's birthday...it's fall, back to school time, and i need to plan and execute a great party (of my own high expectations, of course). This is also the time i realize that i need to catch up on bills, my business!, exercise, filing, piles of shit, other. Basically everything i've ignored all summer. How did that happen? We didn't spend THAT much time at the beach. HOW DO YOU DO IT? I need more time in my day. I need less reality TV. I need to commit to my priorities. UUUgh. Are you feeling this? How DO we do it?
