As much as it was painful, watching Making a Murder was fully engaging. I found myself (like many others, I’ve read) yelling at the TV, cursing the smug prosecution team, and eventually, shedding tears.
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One of the things that makes us all human is the need for approval, reassurance, respect, perhaps even a little adoration. The craving for this can ebb and flow, dependent upon our own ego-boosting magic and our susceptibility to the critics (both real and imaginary).
HEY, YOU LOOK GREAT TODAY Today I ate lunch at my desk, plowed through some documents and took off for a run mid-work day to ease off leftover leg cramps from Sunday's half marathon. I only half baked this idea, since I was too lazy to get up at 6 and do it before work, which means I didn't really pack a full change of clothes (read: underwear) and there is NO way to shower. And I still had an important meeting to attend. Gross. I know. Anywhoooo...after a quick change and a perfume spritz I made a pit stop at the coffee cart to fuel up pre-summit. And guess how I was greeted? "Hey pretty lady! What would you like?" Okay, I do see these guys a few days a week. Do they always greet me like this? No. Actually, never. But today it came at the right time. Right place. I felt GOOD. It made me happy. It gave me a little boost. And who couldn't use a boost?
On the flip side, I've seen some slouching shoulders and heavy heads lately...kids and grown ups alike. It can be a few missed goals on the soccer field, a condescending colleague, a warped work culture. I've seen some (sick) people thrive on tapping this vulnerability in others. Hell, we sometimes perpetuate it ourselves. Seeing this happen so close to home really touches a nerve, and I'm committed to being more conscious of it. Try these on...
CONFIDENCE BOOSTERS (ie. Be the change you want to see in the world.)
• Each day give out one to two (genuine) compliments. Make one be to a complete stranger (those really carry a heavy weight!).
• At the dinner table, instead of highs and lows take turns saying one thing you really admire about the person next to you.
• "Surprise text" a friend or loved one when you think of something special/cool/amazing that REMINDS you of them. Confidence by association!
• Let your kids wear clothes that make them feel good. Even if the combination horrifies you, and you are truly embarrassed by this expression of poor taste, they need to learn for themselves what is accepted or unaccepted by peers, then decide if they want to conform. I said, IF they want to conform.
• Being acknowledged for your appearance may feel FANtastic when you've just celebrated a post-40 birthday. But do young girls (or boys) need this kind of weary praise? Let's give kudos for kindness, or applause for acumen instead.
The other day I was in a building I rarely visit and in the ladies room there was a framed sign that read: "You look particularly great today." And damned if it didn't make me stand a little taller, and think to myself, 'Yes, yes you do.'
Oh No You Didn't!
In the first week of kindergarten, we received invitations for two birthday parties. Luckily both boys were invited to each.
Invite #1. A brother-sister event. The boys asked if perhaps the sister could wait this one out as she is a MAJOR irritation to them. Fine, we don't need to go to this one, they are not particularly close to the new pals. Yes, I am the mom that selects events on their behalf. Am I a snob? No. I'm just really particular about our family time.
Invite #2. An invite to the party of a pal they met last year in PEPP. Wonderful! Charming young girl, in one of the K classes. So when is it? WHAT? But that's a school day. I mean, that is in the middle of the day, okay 2PM, but on a school day! Grrrr.
What bums me out is that I would have been happy to make this party work...on a weekend. Or even a late afternoon! Seriously, is it so unique that both parents might be found working at 2PM on a Thursday? If I don't make it work, the boys miss out. "Oh we can't go, because our Mommy has to work." I simply cannot make an exception for this particular day because I have a major event that night. Sigh.
My very good friend, Kate McKay, is studying law in London. She overheard this in the library today: "The problem with my codpiece is that I can't find enough socks to stuff it."
Kate, I miss you!!!!!
does not mean you can trash the place.
Tonight Jarrod & I went out for dinner at our local sushi joint-sans kids. While it's famous for it's 50% off rolls, it's no dive. Next to us were two couples with a baby, then just a table away were two couples with a set of young twins--maybe 2.5 to 3 yrs. old. The tots were in restaurant high chairs and watching a portable DVD. Interesting idea. Anyway, it looked like they were making the kind of mess that many kids do. After dinner they all got up and made a rapid exit. What was left in their wake can only be described as the aftermath of a mixed vegetable earthquake promptly followed by a specialty roll hurricane.
Seriously. It was a SCENE. I wish I'd had the balls to take a picture. It's Saturday night, 730 PM, and the place was PACKED. Every server hustling their orders zipped by, paused slightly, grimaced, and kept walking. The area was not even approachable, and the patrons waiting for tables (it was a 4 and 2 top together) were pointing, staring, and commenting. Now let me say that the parents were completely NORMAL looking...like, they could have been our friends, and maybe even belong to twins club. However, none of my friends would have left a restaurant in that condition. Even with a ginormous tip, it's really unacceptable. That table was on lockdown for at least 30-45 minutes. I was embarrassed for the parents, and felt awful for the staff. I did have the nerve to ask our server if they left a big tip. She said with a smile "no--they have the babies."
I gave her a big tip.
These are just a few news items that caught my attention this week.
'I was only wearing two things when I hit the shot, my jocks and my golf glove," Swedish Golfer Henrik Stenson, at the WGC-CA Championship in Doral, Florida.
Austan Goolsbee, a member of the White House Council of Economic advisers, on AIG: "It's almost like these guys should have gotten the Nobel Prize for evil." Watching Jon Stewart share this tidbit is unparalleled.
Drug suspects led police on a high speed chase on the 805. To complicate matters they threw thousands of hundred dollar bills out the window...and yes, people stopped their vehicles ON THE FREEWAY and ran around IN TRAFFIC trying to grab it all up. No injuries, but lots of idiots.
hey babe, do you want to do it? [ding!]
are you there? [ding!]
hey you? [ding!]
Love you. LOL!
but i still want to do it
Yeah but I'm triple multi tasing [sic]
Let me begin by saying I've never been a real Disney fan. Walt Disney as a concept...no. It's not the amusement park thing, I love rolllercoasters. It's the "Disney" thing. Especially after a Women's Studies major at UW-Madison where my senior video project was an "intervention" on a campus screening of Snow White & the Seven Dwarves. Truth be told, I did visit Disney World at age 7 or 8, and distinctly remember Space Mountain. I recall NOTHING else. Really, nothing. Except that I was deathly ill on that trip to FL and received a big pill in the rear in a doctor's office late at night. Such a VIVID memory. Seriously.
So, having lived in SoCal now for more than 8 years, and having kids above age 5, it does marvel people that I still have not been to Disneyland. At times I'm actually irritated by the level of mirth and wonder it generates in adults who plan trips there WITHOUT children.
Today, on the eve of my 37th birthday, I'm setting all of this aside. I accepted an invitation from my very dear friend to celebrate this occasion with Mickey and the gang. WITHOUT children. Oy! It's time to break out of my bubble and have some old fashioned fun. I'm also doing reconaissance for a trip there with the boys...come on, they DO have a Jedi Training Academy! I hope to have some fantastic photos, great girl time, and an amazing roller coaster ride. I do love rollercoasters...
So I received an e-mail from my gal pal mom Michelle Obama the other day {she and I are tight!}. Essentially, it was a call to service (on behalf of P.E.B.O.), encouraging me|us|citizens to volunteer for our community. Embedded in the e-mail was a link to USA Service, a website for inspiring us all to change our world, starting in our community. In response to this, Starbucks launched the "Take Five" initiative, asking java heads to pledge 5 volunteer hours to create more than 1.000.000 hours of community service. Free Tall brewed coffee!
I've been pretty passive on my own volunteerism since moving to San Diego, and it's not something I'm proud of. Since I work at a non-profit, I sometimes feel like I AM volunteering {I realize this is selfish}. In SD I've been on the twins club board and served for the PTA, but before we moved I volunteered at the Parental Stress Center in Madison, Wisconsin. Their mission is to prevent child abuse and neglect. I worked with children of families in transition and stress and I miss that experience. It taught me a great deal and was personally rewarding. I obviously have less free time now, but would like to give back again, and this time include the boys or the whole family. For now, we are going to drop off toys and books at the Children for Change event in Scripps Ranch on Monday. I found this event via USA Service and it seems a good first step.
To support this personal initiative I've found THE ACME SHARING COMPANY. In their words, Acme "is a place where parents can find activities for spending family time with meaning. Exposing our children to cause-based adventures is a wonderful way to make giving a part of their lives now and for the future." I love this. There are blog tags for finding activities for certain age groups {4+}, ideas on teaching gratitude, and book recommendations. Hurrah!
Last but not least, I discovered Operation Nice. The founder is a graphic designer and crafter. Of course! She created a blog about 7 months ago dedicated to acts of kindness. I've always said, it's about the little things--being thoughtful and courteous is not reserved for special occasions. From founder, Melissa Morris Ivone, "If everyone was a little bit nicer to the folks they encountered each day, perhaps the world would be a more pleasant place. Operation NICE was initiated to remind you that a little NICE goes a long way." Yes, indeed it does.
I heart my SIGG water bottle too. Illustrator Kate Bingaman-Burt has the most fabulous and eccentric project going on. She has created Obsessive Consumption. Bingaman-Burt began to document all of her purchases in 2002 and subsequently created a brand around the related illustrations and images. She is hand drawing all of her credit card statements until they are paid off, and illustrates a purchase a day which is displayed tenderly on her blog, aptly named What Did You Buy Today?. Totally quirky, a bit psychotic, and a truly original take on consumerism. Love, love, love.
Can I just take a moment to explore the current trend of revisiting high school and grade school friends and pictures on FaceBook? Friends and frequaintances are spending serious time scanning in old high school photos of their pals back in the day. This trip down memory lane makes a number of stops at big bangs and puffy sleeves. Everyone seems to be lovingly nostalgic and reconnecting with others at breakneck speed (yes, I'm observing with a careful eye). Truthfully, I'm not that nostalgic for the 80's. Or the 70's for that matter. I've maintained contact with my BFF and when curious, have shared an email with a few key peeps. I'm thrilled to have survived The Breakfast Club, the cliques, the "Senior Steps", homecoming hazing and spring break frenzy.
My life as a grown up has been far more rewarding than the awkward days of HHS. A message to my boys: Kids can be cruel. And being a teenager is hard--downright painful at times--but you will make it through the drama. On the other hand, if you are the class president or the royal hottie or the soccer star, Hurrah! Enjoy it at the time, but be kind to the dorks and please don't get too big a head over yourself.
Words cannot express my total disgust for the nation's apparent lust fest with Sarah Palin. I wouldn't hire her to be my goddamn intern. WTF?
Maybe I should have just named this blog Pulp Fiction. By writing my thoughts here, it's as if I think they have importance and meaning outside my head. Not a good plan according to Eckhart Tolle (I'm almost done, Oprah!). Well, I can only take so much enlightenment at a time. That's why I have Project Runway, Top Design, and Entourage to fill in my spiritual gaps. Oh yeah, and The Daily Show, The Office, and possibly Lipstick Jungle and the Rachel Zoe Project. Reality Slut! This is when I start referring to the characters as my peeps. And frankly, Kenley really bugs me.
I have discovered a new disorder. And yes, I'm afflicted with it. It's called Obsessive Aesthetic Disorder (OAD) and is characteristic of people that notice all varieties of aesthetic details--for better or worse I might add. Yesterday I became freakishly obsessed with all things ugly broken or in general disrepair. Crooked signs. Dust. Wilting flowers. Misspelled words. Chipped formica. Dreary, homely people placed in very "public" oriented jobs or posts. It's so beyond my control, and therefore so very frustrating. Frankly, quite disappointing. I would like tomorrow to be filled with little aesthetic miracles to make my mind mellow. P.S. I'm adding this one to the lexicon...
Today I savored the last day of summer with the boys. They start school tomorrow so we headed to Fletcher’s Cove for some R&R. Something that continues to amaze me is the high body confidence of Europeans. Of course, this is a generalization, but honestly...aside from Mr. Phelps, what American guy is sporting speedos on the surf? His wife had the juiciest bottom EVER, and her bikini did not even come close to covering her assets. This tanned twosome had to be at least 10-15 yrs. older than me. Gutsy!
